Going to Go Nowhere

Every morning after the regular first hour of the day [I have band class that hour], I simply drive home and get on with my online classes until the next hour I have an elective [which would be 6th hour, choir- if you were wondering]. But today, as my road was nearing, I just didn't turn. I kept going, for no reason, and I didn't even know where this road would go to or end at or even if it would end at all. The point is that I just had the urge to go, and not stop until the desire to go was gone. 

This isn't the first time I've done this; I just sometimes get the urge and then go- no matter what I have to do or what time it may be, I just go. I have no idea why or what possesses me to actually go through with it- I just get a little thought like, "Hey, you know you could just keep going, even though this is your stop coming up," and I think- "Why the hell not?" and boom, I have no clue where I'm going or how I'm going to get back to where I originally had to be and I just go. Is that strange? I've almost convinced myself that it's a sure sign that I'm going completely mad.  I probably have, if I have to convince myself of it. 

The part that gets me is that I don't get the urge that I want to leave leave, as in out of the town or even the state itself. I have absolutely no desire to be anywhere but where I am now- so why do I just go to go nowhere? Maybe I just get this way on fidgety days, or when all I want to do is to not have to do anything- because I do have the power, at times, to go wherever I want to, and I like that feeling, so I take the opportunity when it shows up. That's not uncommon, I wouldn't think; it's just that I'm actually delusional enough to go through with it when I can. It's a little thing, and it doesn't mean much, of course, but it's just that I've been doing this type of thing a lot lately and it just struck me as a bit strange when I came to that realization this morning. 

Maybe it's because all the people I know have their lives planned out and are all heading off sooner or later to do bigger and better things, whilst I have no idea about anyone or anything and I'm just trying to get from point A to point B and I'm not even looking at point C like everyone else is. Maybe it's because some of the people I want to be around are too far away, so if I drive through their town or by coffee shops where we hung out once it'll make me feel better about it. Maybe there isn't even a meaning to my madness anyway, and just the pattern of myself steadily going completely bonkers is getting to me and I need a way to break the pattern. I don't know. I don't even understand myself anymore, and here I am again over thinking a little thing like driving or an extra half hour before I head home for the morning. At least it's something interesting to think about, or even for someone else to ponder as well. 

In any sense, it's still Monday and I've yet to get anything worthwhile done.