Do I Know the You That You Know

Is there a difference? I wouldn't know. Since I know my you, but do I know the you that you know, and is my you and your you the same you?

My answer: I hope so. I don't want to think that you have to change who you are when you're around me, because that means you're shutting a part of you away from me. I will never know those parts of you that are hidden from me- which means I can never know you; not all of you, that is. Is that asking too much? I don't know. I never can tell if I ask too much, or bug you when I message you because I miss you, or even what you're thinking when you look at me. Then the you I think I know starts to slip away and I constantly wonder what is going through your mind on a daily basis, and if I would be able to guess if I tried. Do I know you enough to even guess what you could possibly be thinking? I want to say yes; I feel as though half the time I would be wrong, because part of me thinks that I truly don't know most of you- I just know my you.
And that fact makes me feel so incredibly alone, simply because the person that I'm closest to I'm not even sure if I know them at all. If I don't even truly know the one that's closest to me, then who do I even have? Is there anyone at all? I may only know a version of you, because that's the you that you want me to see, even though I want to know just you- flaws and all. Even if it means you're no longer quite the same person that I thought I knew, it would be well worth it.

If I had the privilege of knowing only the you that you yourself knows, that would be the most beautiful thing I could ask for. Or possibly the most selfish. My thought is if there is more to you than what I know, then there is so much more of you that intrigues me and so much more for me to love, since I could never hate you, even if I don't know some of you as well as others or even at all.

While most people wish for things like someone to love them, or someone they can fully trust- I wish that I could be so close to someone that the mere thought of them gets me going for hours just because I know every inch of them, mind and heart. That I don't have to see them because I can remember them so vividly that they seem like they're here when they're not. So that I don't have to say that I miss them, or that I just want to be held, or count the days that I haven't seen their face.

Most of all, I want someone to want to know all of me as well, just so I know there's someone out there who thinks the same way of me.